They live under rocks with their heads buried in the sand. Ass's raised high in the air...they shit in their underwear. They would burn books if they had control...somewhere along the way they lost their soul. Small minds and Butt Clowns lead the dip shit parade...their lives are just a charade. They always shit and piss the bed...I laugh and feel sorry for them all in one day...The light of day is right there for them to partake..but they rather try and ruin others days. Small minds and Butt Clowns..one day I hope they find their soul..but I won't hold my breath...most of them have lost total control.
(Dedicated to the Small Minds and Butt Clowns..I hope they find their way home.)
I learned as a young boy that money is not everything...sure it helps..but it can't find the person inside. It takes a journey for a Man to find out who he is..who he wants to be..I realized it one day when I was young and free when I climbed the tallest tree. As I swayed back and forth in the breeze..I could feel God speaking to me.. He said young Man..you can go out and make the grandest plans..but you never know whats ahead..Fly by the seat of your pants..hopefully you will find you're true romance. He told me one day you will find you're way..just look up to the sun..you son of a gun. Keep your eyes on the honey's and don't worry ...
(Chorus) That you got no money
That you got no car
As long as you got enough to buy your favorite beer at the local bar
Don't worry the stars will shine down on you..
and always remember that I love you
(End of Chorus)
I always remember those words ..one day I hope my ship comes in
The smells of a well cooked meal and a woman's perfume..light up my days..especially in June
I love walks in the park..I love to watch the lovers walk..as the dogs bark
There is a special garden where I go...It's in Central Park..Roses bloom..I sit there and groove
My music keeps me safe and sound..I feel like I am on a fair Merry go Round
Where ever I go I laugh at the whole show...and even when I am broke...I think it's funny when God said it's OK ..
(Chorus)
My bands are my friends...they taught me how to dream..we are one big family
The songs sooth my soul..I feel like I am 12 years old
The key to life is to stay young at heart..at least that is what I found out from the great ones
I learned a lot from my journey...don't sweat the small things..and the big things can wait
I got a party to get too...maybe I will take a trip to the zoo
Yeah it would be cool to have a little money..but it's also cool...
(Chorus)
Yeah everything is cool...at least I am not a damn fool.
Thank You God..I will keep on looking up to the sun..cause' I am a badass son of a gun.
(Rock & Roll)
(Dedicated to flying by the seat of your pants)hee hee
I am a little carazzzy ...carazzzy ass good..I got that Rock & Roll feeling sprinting through my bones..so stand up and cheer..and grab a fucking beer. Here we go...I am about to blow my fucking load.Wooooooooo ! I feel the rhythm...the melody...the soul .it's in my DNA...I'm out of control. So climb aboard we are about to take a journey of epic proportions ..somebody call the Jetsons. Everywhere from San Francisco to Jersey the journey is right there to be seen..to be felt..so pull up a chair and stay cause' I got fucking ..
( Chorus) Rock & Roll DNA
It's a party 24/7 ..Gonna take you on a ride to Rock & Roll Heaven
You all have a backstage pass..Cause' Rockers always kick ass
Now stand up class..bang your heads..this song never fucking ends
(End of Chorus)
We ride along the skyline..with whiskey in our backpacks
Late at night when we get the munchies ..I promise we will stop for flapjacks
The beauty of the moonlight is etched into our brains..we never feel any pain
Rockers are never stagnant ...Rockers rule the planet
From Brazil to L.A. we all have fucking...
(Chorus)
Rock & Roll DNA..Rock & Roll DNA..Rock & Roll DNA
The party has just begun...we gonna go till the early morning sun
Beautiful blue sky's..You gonna have the time of your lives
The electric guitar roars...TNT about to explode (Guitar Solo)
The drummer bangs away..it's good to be free & alive in the USA (Drum solo)
(Chorus)
Can you feel it...can you see it..it's right there within your grasp
Rock & Roll DNA is in your blood...so raise your glass..that's all for now class
(Lone electric guitar plays the song to end...pause 5 seconds...cowbell bangs away for 15 seconds)
(Hard Rock/Metal)
(Dedicated to Rockers everywhere and to the ones who climb aboard in the future)
No one is sure where she came from...she has fire engine red hair...and a cold ass stare..she rides a jet black Harley..her best friend she hangs out with is named Charlee ..one day I got the nerve to ask her what her name is.. she just grabbed me..stuck her tongue down my throat ..shit, Man I just hit the mother load. She reached down into my jeans and pulled out my..main man..the sausage king. WOOOOOOOO ! I let out the loudest fucking scream...said honey let me buy you some ice cream. She smiled as we rode off ...she leaned back and whispered in my ear..said her name was Electra ..that girl had no fear..
(Electric guitar leads into Chorus)
(Chorus) EXXXTRA EXXXTRA
Gonna tell the whole world about her
I fell in love with this girl named Electra
The first time I met her she stuck her hand down my jeans
I was hooked..somebody call the love police
(End of Chorus)
Electra lit my wick on fire..she fulfills all of my desires
We can make love for three weeks straight ..kitchen,living room , shit, she loves to do it on roller skates
She loves it when I squirt chocolate syrup on her perky nipples ..yeah it makes her kazoo whistle
She keeps me excited 24/7... I feel like I finally made it to Heaven
She Rocks ..She Rolls...hold on I am about to EXXXPLODE !!! (Guitar solo)
(Chorus)
She keeps me happy Winter,Spring,Summer,and Fall
This girl knows how to play hard ball
Electra has my back and I have hers...we fly through outer space together ..
In sunny..rainy..or foggy fucking weather
We live by the beat of our collective drums ... Yeah..I am about to fucking cum...WOOOOO !! (Drum solo)
(Chorus)
EXXXTRA EXXXTRA ..Gonna tell the whole world about her..my Electra lights my soul on fire...she fulfills all of my desires...Oh YEAH !(Deep Voice)
(Rock this shit out for about a 40 second wild ass collective finish)( Light gong on fire ...hit it 7 times)
(Hard Rock / Metal)
( Dedicated to my brothers in AC/DC...looking for that sound right here)
Do you guys have any other jokes..? is the Butt Clown joke store closed ?
All you guys continue to crack me up...No imagination at all. Come on dude...3 more bricks for a buck..Bring it...please tell me you have more than you have been showing me...Must be tough being a bore.
The pessimists whine..while I dine. I eat and drink at the head of the table of Rock & Roll..my body is filled with rhythm and soul..sometimes the music makes me loose control. The older I get the younger I become..Rock and Roll is my fountain of youth..just telling you the truth. Rockers never die..
(Chorus) Rockers never get old
We feel everything deep down in our souls
The fountain of youth...the mother load
The secret to life is staying young inside
Rock and Roll takes you on a ride to the other side
Tells you everything you need to know about the beauty of life
(End of Chorus)
The power of Rock and Roll is lost to some..but the smart ones know better..makes you feel right at home
Gonna rock this song...gotta get my drummer to hit the gong ( Three pounds on the Gong by drummer)
Here comes the chorus...I am not too old to forget..are you all set..I'm sold...
(Chorus)
When the negative clowns enter your life..just turn the music up..(Guitar solo)
You are as old as you feel..I love the feel of the Rock band mic stand steel
I bleed for the sound..the music ..that lives in my mind..nobody can bring me down
Especially the fucking clowns...hee hee WOOOOOOOOOOO!!
(Chorus)
So hold your heads up..the music will never die..I am sold...Rockers never get old
(About a 30 second kick ass ending)
(Rock and Roll)
(Dedicated to the Rockers with soul...they will never get old..)